The Purpose of Sex

diamond braceletThe young bride slowly unties the ribbon and opens the box. Her new husband holds his breath, hoping he picked out the right one. She squeals with joy as she pulls out the beautiful diamond bracelet.

She hugs her new husband and then giddily tapes the bracelet to the bottom of her shoe. She runs out to the yard and stomps around in the mud.

Her new husband watches hurt and incredulous.

Let’s try that again.

The new wife unties the ribbon and opens the box. This time she quietly thanks her husband for the gift, puts it in a drawer and never pulls it out again.

Once again the new husband’s heart is hurt.

Let’s try this one more time.

The young bride unties the ribbon and opens the box. This time she hugs her husband and puts the bracelet on her wrist. She uses it every chance she gets. Every time she wears it she looks at her husband with a knowing smile. His heart swells knowing how much his gift has meant to her.

Our gracious God has given a gift to marriage – the gift of sex. He made men and women to be sexual beings and blessed sexual relations inside of marriage. He said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

When the gift of sex is used outside of marriage, however, it is like taking God’s beautiful gift, taping it to the bottom of our shoes and stomping around with it in the mud. When young men and women have sex before marriage, when couples introduce pornography into their marriages, when our world twists sex into any one of its many perversions, they are taking God’s gift, taping it to the bottom of their shoes and stomping around with it in the mud.

How do you think that makes God feel?

Many Christians, however, swing the pendulum to the other extreme. They treat sex as something dirty, even within marriage. They say that sex should only be used for childbearing. They imply it is wrong to enjoy it. They take God’s gift and put it in a drawer.

How do you think that makes God feel?

God has given you a beautiful diamond bracelet. He wants you to use and enjoy his gift – but to use and enjoy it in the way he designed it to be used. The gift of sex is designed for the intimacy of marriage. It needs the commitment of marriage. It is reserved for husband and wife.

I know it’s hard to wait for marriage, but it is always worth it. You will save yourself a host of hurt and heartache if you just wait. In this world, we are bombarded with temptations to use our sexuality in ways for which God has not designed it, but that is like taking his beautiful gift and stomping around with it in the mud.

Watch out for the other extreme, though. When used in marriage, sex isn’t dirty. In fact, when you use it, when you enjoy it, when you share it with your spouse, you make God’s heart swell with joy.

So treat God’s gift of sex as the precious gift it is. Use it the way he designed it to be used.


  9 comments for “The Purpose of Sex

  1. Kenneth
    July 30, 2015 at 7:28 am

    Another interesting approach, accepted, and appreciated.

  2. Mary
    July 30, 2015 at 7:30 am

    Thank you for the beautiful illustration of God’s intent for mankind.

  3. Bec Koshak
    July 30, 2015 at 10:01 am

    Yes, but what can someone do who has avoided having sex outside of marriage for that very reason, and now has several conditions that have damaged her to the point that she can’t reasonably expect to ever “be” with anyone? I’ve had my “diamond bracelet” stolen from me; I have no idea how to get it back. Do I even attempt to find someone who will understand that it will take surgery and intensive therapy to fix what’s been broken? Do I stay celibate and forget ever having anyone? I know that sin caused the state I’m in, but do I fight back or give in?

    • schroera
      July 30, 2015 at 12:43 pm

      Dear Bec, Thank you for your comment and heartfelt questions. I don’t know all the details to your situation, but I can say this: God doesn’t promise the gift of marriage or of sexual pleasure to everyone. Some people who yearn for the companionship of marriage sometimes aren’t given that gift. Others who are married are not allowed the intimacy of sexual relations due to physical problems or other factors. God allows such trials for our good (Romans 8:28), but that doesn’t mean it is easy to accept. In your case, if you have the opportunity to “fight back” against your physical problems and overcome them, it is okay to try, but then also accept if God in the end says no. You will be in my prayers as you struggle with this and I encourage you to speak to your pastor or a good counselor to help you as you struggle with your physical limitations. May God be your strength!

      • Bec Koshak
        July 30, 2015 at 1:16 pm

        Thank you for your response. I’m trying to find someone to talk to; hard to find anyone that I’m able to discuss this with without heaps of embarrassment and tears.

        • schroera
          July 30, 2015 at 1:20 pm

          If you feel comfortable doing so, e-mail me. I might be able to match you up with a pastor or counselor near you.

          • MG
            July 30, 2015 at 3:49 pm

            What is your email? I would like to email you…..

          • schroera
            July 30, 2015 at 5:38 pm
  4. Amy
    July 31, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    Bec- There are many ways to enjoy intimacy with a spouse without intercourse. If you find someone who truly loves you for who you are, you will finds ways to enjoy each other and have intimacy. Sending prayers 🙂

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